Soaked

underwater
sunken
cold
submerged
diluted
hearing nothing
but heavy
far away
nauseous
sounds
blurry sights
from above
the surface
flashed
uncertainty
and paranoia
eyes sore from
harshness of the water
lips, skin, wrinkled and numb
whole body
tensed
and uneasy
struggling to
avoid
an undertow
of horrid
thoughts
every minute
took away
air from lungs
chest hardened
from the incapability to breathe
wouldn’t feel a living heart
in it anymore
sight, whole mind failed
robbed of any sense
and the instinct
to go on
but
where
I floated
felt
somewhat safe
free
and
a few feet
distant
from
disregard
humbly
waiting
hoping
begging
to drown
and disappear
I never
wanted to
surface
back up

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