Today I knew

I disappointed you

with my actions

intentions

or lack thereof

today I knew

everyday

my numbness hit you

and left

you,

us,

a scar

immeasurable

and thick

it laid

between

what used to be you and me

the innocence

affection

I feared and more so

regret

that nothing

would ever conceal it

let alone

heal it

not me

or some miracle

my weakness had only

yielded indifference from you

something I might deserve

but would pain me more than a thousand

burning iron rods on my skin

I wish I could disappear

somewhere I could take another

chance at things

somewhere

sins

were forgiven

imperfections were

accepted, understood,

swallowed

somewhere people

are taken for who they

truly were

and not for what they

poorly tried to become

in the efforts to be let in

and to know,

feel,

what true acceptance

meant

but if that’s too much to ask

I wish I could just

start over

and make it up for the lost chance

could you take me in.

could you take me back in.

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